The Perfect Funding
Written in the lilt of Poe’s The Raven
By: Jim Pinto
The San Diego day was sunny, I was out there raising money
My business plan was sweet like honey, I had high-growth tech to show
For startup funding I was shopping I was really jumping, hopping,
I saw a sign quite brightly popping, La Jolla office, penthouse floor
"Tis only a mirage!" I muttered, standing right there at that door
'Twas only this and nothing more.
The Venture funds had flocked together, just like birds of kindred feather
In San Diego’s sunny weather, something never seen before
They had simply all agreed on, all of them just took the lead on
Startup funding all could feed on, bio, high-tech deals galore
"I must see you at once!" I stuttered, "My business plan to you I’ll show
You’ll really like it, that I know."
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was then in mid-December,
Every local VC member, watching on that penthouse floor
My Powerpoint it was a wonder, flash of brilliance, lightning, thunder
My doubts and fears were cast asunder, the VCs they were all aglow
"We like your business plan!" they fluttered, and they bought what I had to show
I was shaken to the core.
Eager not to seem too drooly, I held my ground and shrugged quite cooly,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam truly, your forgiveness I implore
Is this funding really something? An open-ended I’m your chum thing?
A truly betting-on-the-come thing? Where’s the term-sheet? Tell me more!"
"Ten million bucks!" they uttered, agreed to make me CEO
And soon we’ll float an IPO!
I found their term-sheet quite endearing, long I stayed there counting, peering,
Doubting, shouting, hoping, cheering, dreaming dreams ne’er dreamed before
But then the spell was quickly broken, and the truth was clearly spoken
‘Cause then quite simply I awoken, lying right there on the floor
My dream just fizzled out and sputtered and I wandered off with naught to show
‘Twas just a dream and nothing more....